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French customs

Etiquette, kissing - and all that!

The French as we all know are contradictory, not least in social situations. One the one hand they can be very formal - letters even between friends will often finish with some flowery formal phrase, get your "vous" and "tu" wrong and you can cause all sorts of upset - and meeting people can be fraught with dangers - handshake? (can feel very "british", cold and formal) - or kisses on the cheek? - if so how many? which first?... it can be a nightmare. Just to complicate matters the custom varies in different regions - 4 kisses is the norm in Paris!

(see our article on "Translating the French Shrug!"

Kissing French Style - It would seem that the general rule is that is you have met someone before then kissing is appropriate (except man to man, presumably). Generally 2 pecks, one on each cheek starting with the left, is the custom. But you could always just check out how other people are doing it first just to be safe.

NB Disclaimer No.1 - Please don't blame us if you end up with a black eye or worse if you get it wrong!

tricolor flagNB Disclaimer No.2 - although it is French it is NOT French Kissing - no tongues and no lip-to-lip action!

NB Disclaimer No.3 - despite the title the 1995 film "French Kiss" starring Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline will not teach you the rules of kissing French people. It is however a good light little film with some wonderful scenes of Provence vineyards.

GARCON! - well that was what my schoolboy French taught me to say to get a waiter's attention - nowadays it will almost guarantee you'll be the last to be served! "Garcon" means "boy" in French, which is hardly suitable for a profession which is highly regarded in France. Better to use "Monsieur?" (or "Mademoiselle" if female (regardless of age); or "s'il vois plait" (please).

CUTLERY - although it seldom causes a problem, it is usually expected that you use the same knife and fork for your main course as for your starter - unless of course, it's fish. So your knife and fork should be placed back on the tablecloth to indicate you've finished.

GLASSES - if you're in a posh restaurant the larger glass is usually for water rather than wine - although I always try to ensure that the wine goes in the larger glass if possible.

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